Back in May, my boss, who we shall call "B" started saying some rather offensive things to my coworker, who we shall call "CW." So B went into CW's office and told CW he was looking fat. (CW is rather plump, but I'd say he's really the norm for an almost-60 year old guy, and it's none of B's business). B went on and on. "CW, you are just puffing right up. You're so puffy! It's killing me!" At that point, I interjected. I said, "It's killing YOU, B?" I couldn't think of anything better to say, but I was upset that B keeps bugging CW about his weight. B even said, "You are so fat, I can't bear to look at you!"
B went on about how CW needs to get off his medications (one for diabetes and one for a thyroid condition) and exercise more so that he'll lose the weight. He wouldn’t listen when CW said he needed those medications to LIVE. But no, who cares if you live or die, as long as you are skinny, right?
Another day, my boss came in to CW and was talking about a client of ours. "She is one that's worth losing the weight for," my boss told him. "If you lost the weight, you could date her." What the F***?!
I passed a post-it note to CW later that said, "CW = puffy. Too puffy to get LAID." He laughed and said "It really isn't true you know. Women don't actually care when you get down to it." I said, "I KNOW they don't, that's why it's hysterical." We are enjoying making fun of my boss and laughing at him together, but it's still maddening. It's like watching someone too drunk to know they're being a complete asshole. On one hand you're disgusted by their behaviour, and on the other hand, you just can't believe that they really continue to insist they're sober despite what an ass they're being. (Yes, we have told him it is inappropriate and yes, we have threatened to sue, but for now we need the money so we're staying here and just trying to laugh it off, which is really why I'm here).
So, we get junk emails all the time for seminars and classes in my inbox at work. Usually I just throw them away, but yesterday I was annoyed at my boss and feeling creative, so I went through an email and changed a lot of the text to make it really funny, including lots of "puffy" jokes. I also included stuff about not making sales calls, because the whole business is going under because he refuses to make calls (he's a sales guy, and makes 2-5 calls per 9 hour day, and wonders why we don't get any sales). I also added in a bit about religion/atheism because my boss always makes sure to take a minute to encourage me to go to church (you don't have a regular babysitter? Well, you should join a church. You found a white dove outside? That's a sign you need to go to church!). Seriously!
So now you have the back story, and here's the best part:
(I didn't see anything in the rules about photos, so I assumed the standard rule: one picture out, the rest behind a cut).